With All My Love... from Manav

Dear Zareen

Most of the lives on this earth don’t seem to be in perfect circle, so did mine. No matter how much I tried, but I could never give it a perfect shape, instead it took the shape which we could never predict or which you could ever figure out.

I failed. I failed again and again.

Loss has been a part of my journey called life, with sadness deep down in my heart, I am still alive is because of the fact that though I failed, yet I know, at least I tried my best to make our life perfect, the shape which you wanted, I tried my best to search my true Love in this life. I tried with all the courage and audacity which I had, but yes I know my best was not best enough.

My loss has shown me what is “Precious” in this life, that what makes you feel happy from inside, it has also given me the glimpses of what is true Love, and how it changes your life and dreams, at least I today live with that wonderful experience (though it is painful).

I know my journey is still on, my travels and my trials have taught me a simple truth, that there is this one person in this world who is made for you, so perfect, your sheet-anchor, your support, your courage, your dream, your happiness, in a sense, your complete life. That one person, who makes your life on this earth a perfect circle, that one person, where all your search end.

Zareen, I know, you were my search, my “that perfect person made for me”, my soul-mate, I thought you were mine, but I lost you, perhaps I was naïve, I let you down or perhaps, I was not that perfect person for you.

Your love has made me believe and through this letter of mine, today, I let everyone in this world know, that, there does exists this wonderful Love, perfectly made for you, which has the power to heal your body, mind and soul and that each one of us, no matter at what stage of our life we are in, should take a journey in search for this true Love. Not everyone does succeed. And yes, it’s a painful journey though, but I am sure, that’s the only way we complete our journey called Life.

And if by this letter of mine, I could set forth even one single life, in search of true Love, then there will be this erasing of all my guilt, all my pains and all my failures. Then perhaps I may not call my self a failure, then perhaps, I may not say, that, Loss has been a part of my journey called Life….

With all my love,

Manav

P.S. And once again, I am Sorry I did not try harder to find out those perfect words to tell you what I was feeling when you were so close to me and wanted to hear from me, I am Sorry, I did not try harder to apologize to you, I was too proud....

 

A small step towards realisation of my big dream....

My small world, today 12th July is a key day for me. Today I took a small little step, which i have been dreaming for years, this small step will help me one day to realise my only dream left to achieve in this life...

Perhaps, the purpose of my existence is now crystal clear in my mind, the reason for me being alive is that dream. 

Today, i am inspired by few kind souls who have been God sent to be a part of my life, to start my long journey to achieve that dream, my purpose of me in this world....

Its a happy day for me, thankyou and wish me luck.....

With Love

Manish

I Will Find Myself...

The heart aches and emotions plagued.

Once again I am anxious, alone and restrained.

The feelings are miserable with you no more,

I wake up with my eyes moist and heart sore.

Days have lost the shine, Heavens no more divine.

Smiles vanished, mind mislaid and body drained;

Life for me will never be the same.

 

But, then I think,

You wanted best out of me.

Determined me, courageous and free.

I promise, will not let you down;

Will gather myself and walk again,

Away from pain;

Fresh hopes and new dreams,

I will find my smiles and my shine again.

My Understanding of Life.. So Far..

One of the greatest experiences (Tazurba), this life has taught me, is that in this world, no one owns anything and that everything is open for each one of us to acquire. And this applies to both material (Sansarik) and spiritual (Adhyatmik) things. Anyone who has lost something, should understand that “something” was not their own in first place, it was owned by somebody else earlier and anyone who has got something, should also note that “something” is not going to be there with them forever. The truth of the life (Jeevansatya) is, nothing really belongs to us, we just happen to be meager custodian (Sangrakshak) in transition of times.

Another important truth of life is that, if you want to grow big, you will have to take the risk (Jokhim), you are bound to make mistakes, some of your decisions will turn wrong but important thing to remember is that making mistakes or taking wrong decisions are part and parcel of life. The life can’t be live (Sakriya) without experiments (Prayog). This world will never want you to take the risk, and this same world will clap for you once you succeed (Safalta) and you cannot succeed until you take the chances. One should have the courage (Saahas) to say “Yes” to life, remain Positive in life.

For me Love (Prem) is life, it makes life meaningful, it gives purpose to ones existence (Jeevanoddeshya). I firmly believe that in this life, we should search the true love and share true love. Love is one of the rare things in life that multiplies with sharing. To understand love, we need to understand life. Love makes us feel wonderful, the same world, which never was exciting, seems very exciting (Aakarshak) and enchanting (Aalokik). Its not easy though, love also comes with a terrible truth, the amount of excitement (Aakarshan) it brings, it does equally brings the same amount of sufferings (Peeda). A true love has to pass through the sufferings, tough times, when the same heaven turns into hell, the same excitement turns into examination (Pariksha) of ones willpower, the internal strength (Aantrik Shakti). Yet, i now understand, we should spread love and peace, that’s our responsibility and obligation on this earth. Trust me freedom (Swatantrta) only exists when love thrives.

This life of ours is a mastermind of one Super-Power (Shrijan Shakti) and that everything that occurs or happens is pre-destined and is time bound. Though this belief of mine is contradiction to my first (and the greatest) experience, but yet I do also firmly believe in this theory of Super-Power. Anything which is destined (Bhagya) to you will come to you at a designated time (Samay), no matter how much you strive or stretch for it, it will happen/occur only if it is destined to happen and at the right time.

Struggle for Freedom

I have spent a large part of my 37 years of life enslaved to one thing or other, one thought or other,  one desire or other, constantly struggling.

And this has happened to me ever since I was a child.

I have been undergoing a constant struggle, at times struggling for survival, sometimes striving for vindication, battling for self respect, for freedom, even struggling for just creating my own little space to stand up, till date the struggle continues, and I am sure this would continue till I die.

Sometimes I have succeeded, while at times I have lost and fallen too, but for sure, each time I stood up more experienced and more accomplished.

Amidst these fights and struggle, what kept me alive were my dreams, dream to achieve and dream to be loved.

Of course, this lead me to do things, which I did not like or should not have done, hurting people, leaving scars on body, mind and souls on one hand, while on the other though, I did experience some wonderful moments, created beautiful relationships and witnessed awesome enactments.

Today I stand at crossroads of my midlife, with the same struggle in my mind, a dream to be accepted as I am and loved as I am. Yes, this will complete me, complete my long journey of enslavement and render me "Free".

I cant turn back, will have to continue the search or else, I will be lost in the ocean of time, enslaved and entrapped.

Be Happy.. Be Smiling.. Be Safe

Every moment brings your thought and I miss you,

More as time spreads open - like a sky.

My heart knows how much I long to see you,

Till u come back, I should be alive, but will I?

Hey! The more u are away from me,

The more I want to be with you.

Come back and hold me,

Come back, as everybody else is back, just not you.

 

My soulmate; my friend;

On whom, I lean my life, my smiles, my tears.

On whom my future now depends.

Do some-thing for me, if you can’t come back;

Be happy, be smiling and be safe.

 

Will you? Tell me… Will you?

Oh God! Will you do me a last Favour?

While you go to sleep….

Exhausted, drained and in pain.

 

I pray to God

To take all your pain

And give it to me

I will bear all the pain

Body, Mind and Soul; For you.

 

Isn't this enough

That u have had suffered so much?

Please take some of my happiness Oh! God!!

And give all her pain

Body, Mind and Soul; To me

 

To God, I ask

Pls can u grant me this favour?

Can u shower your bliss?

Can u relieve all her pain

Body, Mind and Soul….

 

And I will take her sufferings

For once again, Oh! God!!

Pls make my prayers work

For once more, Oh! God!!

Bring smiles on her…

Body, Mind and Soul