The heart aches and emotions plagued.
Once again I am anxious, alone and restrained.
The feelings are miserable with you no more,
I wake up with my eyes moist and heart sore.
Days have lost the shine, Heavens no more divine.
Smiles vanished, mind mislaid and body drained;
Life for me will never be the same.
But, then I think,
You wanted best out of me.
Determined me, courageous and free.
I promise, will not let you down;
Will gather myself and walk again,
Away from pain;
Fresh hopes and new dreams,
I will find my smiles and my shine again.
One of the greatest experiences (Tazurba), this life has taught me, is that in this world, no one owns anything and that everything is open for each one of us to acquire. And this applies to both material (Sansarik) and spiritual (Adhyatmik) things. Anyone who has lost something, should understand that “something” was not their own in first place, it was owned by somebody else earlier and anyone who has got something, should also note that “something” is not going to be there with them forever. The truth of the life (Jeevansatya) is, nothing really belongs to us, we just happen to be meager custodian (Sangrakshak) in transition of times.
Another important truth of life is that, if you want to grow big, you will have to take the risk (Jokhim), you are bound to make mistakes, some of your decisions will turn wrong but important thing to remember is that making mistakes or taking wrong decisions are part and parcel of life. The life can’t be live (Sakriya) without experiments (Prayog). This world will never want you to take the risk, and this same world will clap for you once you succeed (Safalta) and you cannot succeed until you take the chances. One should have the courage (Saahas) to say “Yes” to life, remain Positive in life.
For me Love (Prem) is life, it makes life meaningful, it gives purpose to ones existence (Jeevanoddeshya). I firmly believe that in this life, we should search the true love and share true love. Love is one of the rare things in life that multiplies with sharing. To understand love, we need to understand life. Love makes us feel wonderful, the same world, which never was exciting, seems very exciting (Aakarshak) and enchanting (Aalokik). Its not easy though, love also comes with a terrible truth, the amount of excitement (Aakarshan) it brings, it does equally brings the same amount of sufferings (Peeda). A true love has to pass through the sufferings, tough times, when the same heaven turns into hell, the same excitement turns into examination (Pariksha) of ones willpower, the internal strength (Aantrik Shakti). Yet, i now understand, we should spread love and peace, that’s our responsibility and obligation on this earth. Trust me freedom (Swatantrta) only exists when love thrives.
This life of ours is a mastermind of one Super-Power (Shrijan Shakti) and that everything that occurs or happens is pre-destined and is time bound. Though this belief of mine is contradiction to my first (and the greatest) experience, but yet I do also firmly believe in this theory of Super-Power. Anything which is destined (Bhagya) to you will come to you at a designated time (Samay), no matter how much you strive or stretch for it, it will happen/occur only if it is destined to happen and at the right time.
I have spent a large part of my 37 years of life enslaved to one thing or other, one thought or other, one desire or other, constantly struggling.
And this has happened to me ever since I was a child.
I have been undergoing a constant struggle, at times struggling for survival, sometimes striving for vindication, battling for self respect, for freedom, even struggling for just creating my own little space to stand up, till date the struggle continues, and I am sure this would continue till I die.
Sometimes I have succeeded, while at times I have lost and fallen too, but for sure, each time I stood up more experienced and more accomplished.
Amidst these fights and struggle, what kept me alive were my dreams, dream to achieve and dream to be loved.
Of course, this lead me to do things, which I did not like or should not have done, hurting people, leaving scars on body, mind and souls on one hand, while on the other though, I did experience some wonderful moments, created beautiful relationships and witnessed awesome enactments.
Today I stand at crossroads of my midlife, with the same struggle in my mind, a dream to be accepted as I am and loved as I am. Yes, this will complete me, complete my long journey of enslavement and render me "Free".
I cant turn back, will have to continue the search or else, I will be lost in the ocean of time, enslaved and entrapped.